A Zero’s Journey into Twitter

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The “Hero’s Journey” is an outliner’s pattern for anyone wanting to write epic fiction. Thus, I make the bold move from pantser to outliner and start taking this authoring seriously. Filling in the blanks of a Hero’s Journey still put me at a little over 400 words – my epic journey of fiction complete with outline notes. Everything resembling me or my smartass daughter is completely fictitious.

Ordinary World:

John loved to write but found that any attempt to publish what he thought was clever only landed his stuff in something called the “slush pile.” They sometimes bubbled to the top as a really nice reject.

The Calling:

He needed visibility and noticed that everyone in the real world communicated using words like hash-tag this and hash-tag that.

The Refusal:

Given the choice of leaving his box and surfing the social media tidal wave or anchoring himself to the twentieth century, he chose blissful ignorance.

Enter the Mentor:

John’s teenage daughter Bryna, who was infinitely more astute in all things internet, explained to him what this clamor of “tweets” was all about.

Crossing the Threshold:

Bryna set up a Twitter account for her father. It took little time since it was so much easier to just do it rather than actually instruct him. (Am I sounding testy here? Why is it that these kids can’t just show me… I mean him… how to do it instead of grabbing his phone and just banging away at it?)

Test, Allies, and Enemies:

John now had an account. Launched into the established world of Twitter with little or no training, John fumbled with searching out people and things to “follow”.

Approach:

There were many interesting TV shows and personalities for John to follow. He quickly became a self-proclaimed expert on following people.

The Ordeal:

These interesting people and shows were actually quite boring—might as well just visit their web pages. The quest for the meaning of “hash tag” became even more formidable. The goal was to show his work, not get personal photos from TV stars.

The Reward:

Only two days after joining, John, himself, was actually followed! He was followed by a lovely young woman wearing something similar to what Doctor Frank N. Furter wore in Rocky Horror. He proudly showed his wife that he had a follower.

The Road Back:

John is not on Twitter any more.

The Resurrection:

He now has a blog (thank you for reading this, by the way).

Return:

Much like before, he doesn’t know squat about blogging but he is definitely keeping it a secret from his daughter.

My First “Published” Words

Hey, I finally got published! Not uploading my stuff to Amazon or GoodReads, but sending it to a web-mag slush pile.

It went in late, though. When the time came to look for it, it didn’t show. That was a bit of a telling point for me to maybe scrap this whole idea of writing. Instead of sending a note like, “Where is it?” I just kicked a can and walked off to give quality time to my real job. My real job does deserve it.

Anyway, I just got the note from David Gregory that my 500-word short surfaced, so woo hoo, I’m on my way to… I don’t know — probably continuing to give quality time to my real job. But the dream goes on…

Hoop! There It Is!

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This is a KDP free promotion. For Kindle Select entries (meaning I am only on KDP at the 70% option), I can put it up for free up to 5 days. I picked three to see if it will help the flat-line report at all.  The pictures from the previous posts, along with the pathetic little apology, were shamelessly splattered on my Facebook wall.

Not only that, I added it to the Absolute Write Water Cooler forum. We’ll see what happens. I think the problem is that the world doesn’t agonize about how well I am doing on self publishing as I do. Now, that’s just weird. What’s with this world?

If nothing happens… That’s OKAY! I’ve got this non-fiction WIP that is going traditional by hook or crook!

My Confession

The previous posts about the GREAT FREE PROMOTION OF JOE ANONYMOUS was WRONG.  I made pretty pictures that was WRONG.  Pardon me while I compose myself…

*sniff*

Okay.  The FREE PROMOTION of JOE ANONYMOUS is for 5/6/16 thru 5/8/16, NOT starting 5/5.  I danced around telling everyone LIES.

LIES. LIES. LIES!  *blubber* I didn’t mean to though.

For those reading this, please accept my apologies and don’t think I put the same inane attention to detail in the book itself.

Verne, Asimov, Clark, …

And me.  Yeah, I wish.  I am not worthy to tie the shoes… but inventions came from their stories.  And I bet their stories came from their inventions: pieces of imagination that joined the fantastic with the usual.  For Jules Verne, it was the nuclear submarine.  For Isaac Asimov, it was psychohistory, and Arthur C. Clark had a plethora of ideas that are being developed as feasible to this day.  No Hero’s Journey.  No big outline.  Just an invention that needed a story.

We have nuclear powered submarines today.  Asimov’s Psychohistory is being used, as “psychohistory”, by various organizations to predict the future of society.  Of course, Asimov’s imaginative definition required rooms-full of advanced equations to make precise predictions of what galactic governments would do.  It still is an invention though–and one that spurs contemplation and study in itself.  Such is the staple for nerds like me.  Then there is Arthur C. Clark’s idea of launching molten iron through space to thwart defense geared for energy blasts, by using what we are now developing as a “rail gun”  …Or his “space elevator” which is tantalizingly close to reality.

Joe Anonymous  begins with a description of “The Mind”. The Mind is actually a world-wide grid of compromised computers (already such a thing if you look up SETI or LIGO). The story is not about The Mind so much as about a social-media inept overly-cautious luddite (based on me again) who becomes the focus of this Mind. The Mind is an invention though. It is in the background but controls the whole thing (hence the puppet strings on the world). There is nothing more powerful than an anonymous nitwit that can be used to join the virtual world with the real.

Vertex Rider is a story built around the development of the Parabolic Portal. Now that is an invention that will stay firmly rooted in fantasy. But it is still an invention that needed a story. The Parabolic Portal, in a nutshell, is a device that transfers matter through the zeroeth dimension to anywhere within the bounds of the parabola—which can be millions of miles. It does this in a split second. Actually, 1.64 x 10 to the -26 power of a second. But there is a side affect—a rather obvious one actually. Obvious or not, it takes the team of scientists by surprise because of the mathematician’s tendency to throw out imaginary numbers. The object lesson throughout is to stop calling things impossible.

Planet Quest… well, that’s the same invention but in spades. Turn a billion mile range to well over a hundred light years and you go from the solar system to the stars. The goal, for now, is the Orion Nebula, via multiple hops from planet to planet. There are distractions that make the adventure.

These are the three that I have out on Amazon right now.  I plan on excerpts, news, and blatant promotions in the near future.  Thank you for reading this far.

— John Beavers (and his pen)