A Zero’s Journey into Twitter


The “Hero’s Journey” is an outliner’s pattern for anyone wanting to write epic fiction. Thus, I make the bold move from pantser to outliner and start taking this authoring seriously. Filling in the blanks of a Hero’s Journey still put me at a little over 400 words – my epic journey of fiction complete with outline notes. Everything resembling me or my smartass daughter is completely fictitious.

Ordinary World:

John loved to write but found that any attempt to publish what he thought was clever only landed his stuff in something called the “slush pile.” They sometimes bubbled to the top as a really nice reject.

The Calling:

He needed visibility and noticed that everyone in the real world communicated using words like hash-tag this and hash-tag that.

The Refusal:

Given the choice of leaving his box and surfing the social media tidal wave or anchoring himself to the twentieth century, he chose blissful ignorance.

Enter the Mentor:

John’s teenage daughter Bryna, who was infinitely more astute in all things internet, explained to him what this clamor of “tweets” was all about.

Crossing the Threshold:

Bryna set up a Twitter account for her father. It took little time since it was so much easier to just do it rather than actually instruct him. (Am I sounding testy here? Why is it that these kids can’t just show me… I mean him… how to do it instead of grabbing his phone and just banging away at it?)

Test, Allies, and Enemies:

John now had an account. Launched into the established world of Twitter with little or no training, John fumbled with searching out people and things to “follow”.


There were many interesting TV shows and personalities for John to follow. He quickly became a self-proclaimed expert on following people.

The Ordeal:

These interesting people and shows were actually quite boring—might as well just visit their web pages. The quest for the meaning of “hash tag” became even more formidable. The goal was to show his work, not get personal photos from TV stars.

The Reward:

Only two days after joining, John, himself, was actually followed! He was followed by a lovely young woman wearing something similar to what Doctor Frank N. Furter wore in Rocky Horror. He proudly showed his wife that he had a follower.

The Road Back:

John is not on Twitter any more.

The Resurrection:

He now has a blog (thank you for reading this, by the way).


Much like before, he doesn’t know squat about blogging but he is definitely keeping it a secret from his daughter.


Author: johnbeaverspen

Lifetime software engineer and writer of light, humorous science fiction books centered around thought inventions. Also, I love to write shorts in every genre except romance. I will point to my sister, Rosalee for those.

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